One of the deeply ironic things is that, when I am doing well, I have easy access to my brain’s database of tips and tricks to support my well-being. I can draw upon the tools and resources that I have built up over the years: books and articles that make me feel good, a smorgasbord of activities that I can’t wait to do because I know that they will leave me feeling better; a range of breath and mindfulness activities that keep me grounded. Even the simplicity of mantras that help remind me that life is more than my in-the-moment-experience-of-it. Don’t believe everything you think being one of my personal favorites.
But when I am depleted, and these things could give me a much needed boost, my mind goes blank. That is to say even IF I remember to pull myself out of my limbic response enough to remember that I should take a pause.
One of my favorite coaching exercises that is really simple AND doable and I often offer to clients (as well as to myself) is to create a Never-ending List. This is exactly what it sounds like on the can – you start a list that you just keep adding to. And then the secret is to post it somewhere visible, a) so you can keep adding and b) so it serves as a reminder for those moments when you actually need it (don’t underestimate the power of visual prompts – whether notes on the fridge or lists by the desk – but we have to keep moving them so we don’t habituate and stop seeing them).
And the list can be anything… a never ending list of things I can do that give me a boost when I feel down… a never ending list of foods I’d like to try…. a never-ending list of things I want to learn….
As a side note, a never-ending list is NOT a to do list, it’s a resource intended a source of inspiration. This feels important to state of the benefit of those of us with long, often daunting to do lists and the idea of one might have the opposite effect to what is intended.
In case you are interested to try this and are looking for inspiration here are some other ideas that I have offered to people over the years:
- A never-ending list of big unanswerable questions you are curious about…
- A never-ending list of ways to recharge during the working day…
- A never-ending list of things that nourish you…
- A never-ending list of ways to strengthen your team…
- A never-ending list of things that bring you joy…
- A never-ending list of things to do that are just for you and not for other people….
I was given that last one too as a practice several years ago by my coach. It was fascinating as I realized that so many of the things that I do that bring me joy are actually about helping other people. Not that there is anything wrong with that… but seriously to not find things that are actually self-centered. And as I sat with the idea and gradually started to find things I wanted to do I realized that there were a lot of parts of me that were currently untapped. And, ironically that when I made time for them a) I had more energy for all those other things AND b) other people often wanted to join in.
So here’s a toast to never-ending lists… if you are curious but drawing a blank on what you want yours to be, send me a note and we can brain storm together.
