The world of work where I spent significant parts of my career is experiencing deep upheaval right now. Thousands of my friends and colleagues have been laid off or furloughed and are having to radically rethink their lives. And thousands more still have their jobs (for now at least) and are trying to regroup with their teams. To make space to grieve and process and also to figure out what is theirs to do in this moment.
For many leaders this is uncharted territory. At least at the scale at which it is taking place. And the temptation can be to avoid directly addressing it as a team – for fear of somehow making it worse. Opening cans of worms that we don’t have the skills to address. In my experience, navigating through crises that were huge for my teams and organizations (if not for an entire sector), there is a different analogy that rings true. When, as children, we are scared to go to sleep because of a fear of monsters under the bed, often the best thing to do is to actually look under the bed and to name the monsters. Because however scary they still are in reality, they are usually even more frightening in our imaginations.
For those leaders who want to have the conversations and name the monsters, but aren’t quite sure how to go about it, I’ve pulled together 4 sets of questions that can help shape them in ways that are authentic to the leader.
1. What do I need in this moment? If I don’t start with acknowledging my needs at least to myself, there is the danger that they come out in more sneaky and harmful ways. If I can acknowledge what I need – is it human connection and putting everything all on the table? Is it more inner reflection and planning? Is it space to brainstorm and look forward? Or to have space to grieve? – then I can start to disentangle what is appropriate to bring into a team conversation and where I might need to look to have my needs met elsewhere (with my manager, or peers, or friends or therapy…)
2. What do I need from my team in this moment? Getting clear to myself about what I need from my reports, allows me to better calibrate and sense whether there is alignment between my needs and their needs? Do I need them to be more autonomous or collaborative? Am I looking for connection or needing them to be self-sufficient? Do I want true honesty from them about where they are at or am I hoping they find other places to process their own experience of what is happening?
3. What does my team need from me/each other? This is often a tricky question, because if we value diversity of thought and perspective, we may have a team where everyone’s needs are quite different. Some may want space for collective grieving and sharing. Others may want to just get on with the work that is to do. What would be helpful to do collectively? Is there a value in an open space where people can hear from each other and name their own needs? Where might it be more valuable for me to make space for a 1:1 conversation? What do I do if what they need is something that I can’t give at this moment?
4. What does my organization need from us right now? In the midst of the confusion and chaos which leads most of us, naturally, to focus on our own needs or those closest to us, it’s important not to lose sight of how we meet the needs of what we are being asked to step up to in this moment. How do I lean into these needs and help my team maintain relevance and support the bigger picture?
If we answer these questions and have clarity on them then we can start to find ways to bring the team together that support the needs of the whole group.
(Photo courtesy of the ‘monsters’ that live under my youngest’s bed!
