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One Big Mistake Many of Us Make When Planning Gatherings, Meetings, Retreats and What We Can Do About It!
Many of us have a gut reaction when we are told we need to go to a conference, retreat, work gathering, off-site, or simply an all-day meeting. There is the “Hurray, I love concentrated time to roll up my sleeves with others and immerse myself” person, and the “Seriously I don’t have time to have the kinds of discussions we’ve had a hundred times before with people I don’t want to be in the same room with”, or the “How can I possibly take time away from my ‘real’ work to do this” etc. etc. Our reactions vary, but are usually based on previous experiences.
I used to fall firmly in the first category, particularly when it meant coming together with work colleagues I not only respected but enjoyed being in the same room with, many of whom I wouldn’t see regularly because of location and travel. Now though, my initial reaction is always one of (slightly) skeptical curiosity – whether I am in the role of leader, facilitator or participant . My first question is ‘what do we/you want to happen and/or change’ because of this particular convening?’ And then my second bi-partite question is, ‘what are we going to do to prepare AND how are we going to ensure momentum afterwards?’
All too often we see the gathering as the end point. As a stand-alone piece of art that once it is finished we can display and then move on to something else. And in my experience, the bigger the gathering (whether in terms of preparation, resources, people or something else), the more likely it is to be seen this way. Which is a shame because these are the ones where we have invested the most.
When we engage external facilitators, their role often further entrenches this approach. They come for the event but rarely continue to engage, beyond maybe a debrief or a report, afterwards. And the skillfulness of the facilitator is usually judged on how they are in the moment – how the room feels in the moment and at the end of the day.
I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. I got good at learning which facilitators build in adequate preparation time to support you as you and others get ready for the event (and bill accordingly!) and which were juggling with different events and weren’t really available to support with the build up (or to support you as a leader). But I never thought to ask for post event support. This meant that I was often on my own post event and actually this was probably when I could most have done with an accountability partner.
My new invitation is to think of the gathering as a punctuation point in the arc of your organization or team’s journey. Not a piece of work (short story, novel, play…) in itself. The metaphor can be used to further explore what kind of punctuation is needed: A pause… A shake up (!!?) A time of reflection and questioning??? closure (.) … you get the idea and I don’t want to beat this metaphor to death. But how do you intend the sentence to continue (or a new one start) afterwards?
I’m still exploring my way into this myself, as I am now often in the role of outside advisor. How much do I offer/recommend to teams I am working with? How much do I let them guide vs recommending.
But I have identified four things we can all be doing – whether we are hiring a facilitator or the leader/convener.
- When designing the meeting, frame it within the arc of the journey the group is on and set intentions beyond the meeting point and have them on the calendar.
- During gatherings design to have visual/embodied hooks to help participants remember the event and for the details to not blur into the background as it retreats in the rear mirror.
- Think about the end of the meeting or gathering and use it not only to close and integrate what has come up but see it as a launch pad forward to make sure everyone is aligned and clear on what needs to happen next.
- Have a support team – don’t try to do it all yourself. Where do you find the accountability partners to drive things forward? If it isn’t you who is responsible beyond the end of the meeting who is and are they sufficiently owning that.
I’d love to hear from others what additional strategies they use to keep the sentences flowing!
