I am not a nature watcher. I am not a bird watcher. I would like to be but I just don’t have the patience. I’d like to think that I will get there but right now I’m not even close. I love seeing things happen but when ‘nothing’ is going on, I struggle to wait around. This week I feel as though the universe pitched me an easy practice. A pair of birds has been building a nest right outside my office window. It started two days ago when I realized that two of them were flying back and forth with stuff in their mouth and creating a pile of debris in the corner of the roof. Ten hours later and it is definitely looking nest-like. They’ve moved from twigs to wet soggy stuff to line it. I’ve dug out our unused bird book, confirmed them as (American) robins. And watched as after each deposit the male or female hops into the nest and wriggles around in it to pack it all down.
This morning there was new drama as I watch a jay (I think that is what it is) checking the nest out and the robins having to dive bomb in to drive it off.
So less than 24 hours in to this ‘story’ I’m completely hooked. I’ve had to apologize to clients for having wandering eyes every time a bird wing catches my periphery. I’m sneaking rabbit hair and straw onto the roof of the porch just in case they need more materials. Nick doesn’t realize that he is going to be posted to the deck to try to capture a picture for this blog post! And I’m trying to figure out how I might stand guard against the jay, clearly the villain in this anthropomorphic narrative I’ve created.
It’s a beautiful example of how deeply our brains long for stories… and stories where there are heroes and villains and an arc towards justice and redemption or survival. I’m most definitely not the first (this week even) to be pointing out the human love of story and drama. But this example has me catching my breath as to how easy it is and how quick it is to develop. It also parallels some coaching conversations I’ve been having where we’ve uncovered just how easy it is to create stories about the motives of other people that we work with and who frustrate us. To attribute ill intent or misperception without actually knowing the backstory. (What is going on for the poor jay after all. He could have his own narrative arc too if I were to switch perspective!).
I’ve may have posted a link to this previously, but if you haven’t seen it already, this 3 minute video by the Conscious Leadership Group really clearly helps make sense of this. It describes the drama triangle where we assign all the people in our lives roles of either victim, hero, or villain. And invites a re-framing where instead we look at the roles of coach, creator and challenger.
So, as I continue to root for ‘my’ robins I’m also paying closer attention to how I’m constructing stories in my human interactions and catching myself early on before I’ve created my own narrative and backstory without checking in with the other person/s.
