I’ve finally come to own that I love leading, and probably always have, (ask all my younger siblings and cousins who I led – coerced?! – into all sorts of imaginary games of my making). It’s taken me a while to own that thought but I’m starting to claim that love as part of my identity, rather than taking the persona of the reluctant leader.
What’s interesting to me though as I claim that identity, is also feeling more comfortable in naming I enjoy following too. Particularly when I give myself permission to simply lean into that role rather than being the back seat driver (it’s maybe no surprise that one of my recurring dreams is trying to drive a car from the backseat and not being able to reach the brakes!). Recent examples for me of following have included: volunteering at school to invigilate (proctor for my US friends) exams, helping out at a fund raiser. Even attending protests feels like a follower move.
Because this enjoyment of pairing the roles of leader and follower stood out to me, I spent time reflecting on what the gifts and lessons of following might be and came up with the following:
1. Following uses a different part of my brain and demands different types of attention and energy. In line with the adage, ‘a change is as good as a rest’, participating in the change I wish to see in the world from this stance allows me to engage but feels in a way rejuvenating. (I remember that some of my most energizing moments in the pandemic were when I was volunteering at vaccination centers – simply doing what I was asked to. But appreciating feeling part of something bigger).
2. Following someone else’s leadership gives me an opportunity to learn from their style. It allows me to step into observer mode, notice what I love about them and what I might find irritating and then use it as a lens to think about my own leadership style. It’s easier to observe and reflect when I am not in that metaphorical ‘driver’s seat’.
3. It’s a good invitation to keep my own ego in check. To remember that unless I aspire to becoming leader of the free world (which I most definitely don’t!) – I am always going to be one actor in the eco system. There are places for me to step into leadership and places to step back. My way of getting things done is right in some circumstances but there is more than one way to get to the top of pretty much any mountain.
One of my favorite articles, Dialogic Leadership, talks about the four roles you need played out in any productive conversation (and I would argue any process): the mover (leader), the follower, the opposer and the bystander. Pertinent to this reflection, the author William Isaacs writes, “Without movers, there is no direction. Without followers there is no completion”. We need followers to get things done. I think back to the childhood game of “Follow my Leader”, where the kid at the front of the line gets to act/move in a certain way and every other kid gets to copy them. And then at some point, when they are done they move to the back of the line and the next kids steps in to ‘lead’. Or the fact that migrating geese take it turns to lead at the front of the V-formation, switching out when they get tired.
Where do you like to lead and where follow? And how might you choose to switch it up?
Photo by Yoel Winkler on Unsplash
