Many of you know that in the last month I wrote my first paper in a very long time, together with a dear colleague, collaborator, co-conspirator and friend, Myriam Khoury. And it felt like a huge accomplishment. It’s been six months in the writing and quite a lot longer than that in the designing. Writing does not live and breathe in my DNA. At all. For example, I have memories of university where my tutor told me that my ‘train of thought’ kept going off the rails and never reached it’s destination. Or the very first report I wrote for an international non profit, based in Kosovo for my first paid posting, which came back from my boss’s boss with the handwritten note on top reading, “Who on earth wrote this – it was clearly not written by someone who is a native speaker of English!”. Ouch! That one bruised my ego for a very, very long time.
So I’ve worked hard to develop my writing skills over the years. But even though I haven’t received negative feedback that hurt the way that first piece did, I still find it hard and it’s rarely the thing I put to the top of my to do list. Yet I somehow manage a newsletter and blogs, and the occasional paper. And I quite often end up in conversations with folks who say, “I keep wanting to write but then find all these reasons not to”. So it was a helpful reflection exercise for me to think about the things that help me TO write and see what comes back from others.
Be clear on why I’m writing. It sounds really obvious. But so often we write things and are not clear on the purpose and try to make something do too many things. Is it to create dialogue, connect with others, market an offering, increase visibility, be cathartic (sometimes that can be private writing but something also putting something out publically), earn money, be accountable. I find that when I have named a primary purpose it is both motivating, it takes some of the performance anxiety away, and any additional payoff then feels like a bonus.
Find or create accountability. This can be to someone else (which happens so much in work), or with someone else (like in my partnering with Myriam which meant that we could motivate and hold each other accountable because we didn’t want to let the other down). For me, and others I know, a newsletter is more helpful than a blog because it comes out regularly and so I have created a deadline even if it is just in my minds.
Be OK if no one reads it! OK so a little bit of this depends on what reason I’ve have chosen for writing (see above). If I’m passionate about sharing a finding with the world, and no one reads it then that’s maybe a miss. But if I am writing to clarify my thinking and sharing it in case it helps others. Then maybe it’s OK if only a handful of people read it. And if it leads to one deepened coneection then… Our egos of course want something that gets the most like or forwards or opens. But if I let go of that then I also feel much freer to express my opinion.
I secretly hope that I have a book inside me just waiting to be ready to be written. I also secretly suspect that I don’t. I’m OK with that But in the meantime, I am much more at peace with writing than I used to be. I’d love to hear the strategies that others use to get them over their writing insecurities so please share them.
PS. One final postscript. As I was editing this article it struck me that I LOVE writing letters! Particularly when I get to pick up a pen and paper and write them the old fashioned way. What’s that about? Maybe it’s to do with the fact that I feel like I am in conversation and somehow that frees me up? Hmmmm. Food for thought!
